It's about working together

Björn Richter

Who is more important for raising a child: mum or dad? Björn Richter can't and won't commit to an answer. "Why should we? Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses when it comes to bringing up children." His wife, for example, prefers to sing with the children, while they often run around with him. He would like to share his experiences with like-minded people. That's why men get together once a month at the fathers' meeting he set up at Chopinstraße 42 in Kappel.

How did you come up with the idea of organising a fathers' meeting?
Björn Richter: I have two children: a six-year-old son and a three-year-old daughter. I took parental leave with both of them. It was very important to me to support this early phase. During my first parental leave, I had the idea of talking to other fathers about my experiences as a father. Men simply experience things differently to women. I wrote a few things down and went to the parent-child group at the Haus der Familie at the time. There were other interested fathers there. We got together and the idea for the project was born. Now, during my second parental leave, I thought about reviving the project. For fathers, dealing with parenting issues is still something relatively new. Traditionally, women are more likely to deal with this. I realise in myself that I simply want to take responsibility for raising my children in the early years.
Apart from courses such as baby swimming, PEKIP or similar, there is not yet such a fathers' meeting place in Chemnitz. "Fathers are often in the minority and I've never really been able to exchange ideas from man to man at these meetings," says Björn Richter, explaining further reasons for his fathers' meeting, which was held for the first time last November. "We started with five participants, then six or seven. But it's now levelled off at five." Björn Richter is working on increasing the number of participants, because "it simply makes the exchange more lively when several fathers take part."

How does a fathers' meeting work?
I've noticed that communication between men is very different. Men communicate differently to women, that's the way it is. Much easier. Here in our premises, we have very good conditions for the meeting. A person responsible for education in men's work comes along once a month, brings ideas for topics and is responsible for the thematic organisation of the evening.
It's not about revealing what problems I have in my parenting and it's also not about being judgemental. We are men, we talk to each other differently. We talk more simply. It's about togetherness. It's about the male perspective on parenting. We have a good mix of older and younger fathers. The older ones bring a special dynamic to the topic, because they are a bit more relaxed about it.

Is there already a trend in the most frequently asked questions or problems?
I haven't noticed that yet. I appreciate the fact that we have a different topic every evening. Different areas of parenting are always addressed. That is something that is very productive.

Is there one thing with children that makes you capitulate as a man? Where you realise that only the mother can do it (apart from breastfeeding)?
(laughs) For me it's singing. Women love to sing. Sometimes I don't feel like singing. I do like to sing sometimes, bedtime songs for example. But it's difficult for me to do that in between times when a situation arises. And my children don't know that from me.

Björn Richter is not from Chemnitz, but originally comes from Lower Saxony. His family brought him to Saxony. He now works as a special needs teacher at a secondary school in Chemnitz. "The job helps me because I have experience in certain areas. When it comes to working with children, it's always new. At work, it's other people's children and not my own. I can say I'm off work. When I come home, I'm a father all the time. I always have this responsibility," says the father.

Is Chemnitz a father-friendly city? Or rather: What makes a father-friendly city for you?
That's a big question. I think you need excursion destinations in a city that are easily accessible for father and child. You need adventure playgrounds, large forests where you can run and play with the children. I think it's about children, especially boys, looking for adventure with their fathers. It's easier for boys to experience this with fathers. I've noticed in myself that I do things simply out of spontaneity and out of the feeling of having a fight with my son. I think that's something that sets men and women apart. You can do that in all sorts of places in the city and at home. But I do think that fathers are looking for adventure with their children. Chemnitz has a lot to offer. You just have to discover it and have an eye for it.

Are there special offers in Chemnitz just for fathers and children?
There are many things that fathers and children can do. But they don't necessarily have to be explicitly labelled.

Was it particularly easy to set up a project like the fathers' club in Chemnitz?
I don't have any comparable cities. I realise it's not easy. Because this topic of fathers on parental leave is still relatively new and unresolved. There are many fathers who decide to take parental leave. But there is a large proportion of society that has grown up with a different image of the family. So it's something new that needs a certain amount of time to get off the ground. The project is currently planned to run until the summer holidays. And then we'll see if there's still a need for it.

What do you show your family from Lower Saxony when they come to visit you in Chemnitz?
I show them the places where I like to be. Playgrounds, botanical gardens and Küchwald. We also like being in the Ore Mountains. It's easy to reach from here.

Do you need to encourage the people of Chemnitz to stand by their city more?
Chemnitz is worth taking a second look at what the city has to offer. And then you have to ask yourself whether you can also advertise the beautiful sides of the city, because I am convinced of that.
I realised it for myself: it took me a moment to warm to this city. But it's worth it. Chemnitz is a city that has an incredible number of leisure activities, but they are inconspicuous. I only got to know and appreciate it through my children. You're just a stone's throw away from the Ore Mountains and can simply strap on your skis.
Not everything can be bad in Chemnitz. And if I assume that there is always something good, then you can also discover that here in the city. The people who live here really appreciate being here and shaping their lives. There is something fascinating in the city. And you just have to try to find it.

Where: St Nikolai-Thomas parish
Chopinstraße 42, 09119 Chemnitz