Everyday life at the helpline - supporters wanted

Kerstin Graff & Angela

When Paul calls the freephone number 11 61 11, he has problems: Bullying at school, trouble with his parents, arguments with friends. He prefers to discuss his worries with the counsellor at the other end of the line. Completely anonymously. He is listened to. He feels understood here. Over 70 cities across Germany, organised by different providers, participate in the umbrella organisation "Nummer gegen Kummer". In Chemnitz, the child and youth helpline is run by the Workers' Welfare Association. Coordinator Kerstin Graff and volunteer counsellor Angela explain that children and young people urgently need attentive listeners.

What are the concerns that children and young people turn to the "Nummer gegen Kummer" with?
Kerstin Graff: Really anything. Even topics that we can't even imagine. From bullying and cyberbullying to heartache, grief, addiction, loneliness, underage pregnancies, abuse and terminal illnesses.
Angela: The problems are really diverse, but also sad: grief in the family, parental separation or pressure to perform, especially when it comes to school reports. The children are then told at home that they are worth nothing.
Kerstin: Sometimes children also get in touch when a pet, such as a hamster, has died. That can be very painful for them. Another big issue that young people are very concerned about: The first time.
Angela: We also get calls from children who have undergone treatment and are worried about mum and dad. These children know that their organs will fail at some point. They are most worried about mum and dad: what will happen when they are no longer there? For me, these are very valuable conversations.

From what age do the children call you?
Kerstin: Actually from 8 to 25 years old. The main group is between the ages of 13 and 16 - in the middle of puberty. But we also get calls from children under the age of 8. First-graders, for example. If a child of that age has absolutely no one they can confide in, it's a disaster. But sometimes children just can't go to mum or dad.

How do children get the phone number? It's hard to imagine, especially with 6-year-olds.
Angela: They get the number at school or in hospital. I recently learnt that the number is already stored in the newer phones.
Kerstin: It's also already in some homework books. We also use the opportunity to go into schools to publicise the service. Or we set up an information stand at events and talk to children and parents.

The service offered by the umbrella organisation "Nummer gegen Kummer" is aimed at children and young people and is available Monday to Saturday from 2 p.m. to 8 p.m. on 11 6 111 or 0800 - 111 0 333. On Saturdays, the young counsellors from the "Young people advise young people" team take the calls. The telephone never stands still. Last year, 3,771 telephone counselling sessions took place via the contact point in Chemnitz. More than 15,000 calls were received in total. "The more than 11,000 calls are so-called alternative contact calls - joke calls, hang-ups, silences or someone wanting to enquire about counselling or thank you for a conversation that took place a few days or weeks ago," explains Kerstin Graff.

Are you nervous before a working day because you don't know what to expect?
Angela: Initially, yes. Then I wished there wouldn't be a bad interview, but it's not like that any more.
Kerstin: I think everyone probably has wobbly knees before the first phone call. I felt the same way because you don't know what to expect. It can be anything from a joke call to the worst case scenario. A call like this can go on for a very long time - one or even two hours. Because the problems are so complex and so many factors come into play. I once had someone on the phone who wrote down everything he wanted to say. He then read it out for over 15 minutes. It was so much and so complex.

Do you go home at the end of the working day feeling satisfied or anxious? You never find out the result of your counselling?
Kerstin: No, we don't actually find out the result. In the rarest of cases, someone calls afterwards and wants to say thank you. Nevertheless, I have a good feeling, also because in difficult conversations you can tell how the caller is feeling by the tone of their voice.
Angela: It's bad when a child hangs up. Then we sit there and don't know what to do at first. If it's a difficult conversation or I realise that it's going in a complicated direction, then I ask the child directly not to hang up. Or if they don't want to answer a question, that's okay too.
Kerstin: We only ever learn a small part of the caller's life. Exactly what we are told. But we can never get a complete picture of the situation.

Angela, who doesn't want to give her real name, has been working as a volunteer on the helpline for seven years. "It's not only anonymous for the children, but also for us counsellors," she explains. She and Kerstin Graff are two of around 20 counsellors in Chemnitz who work in two-hour shifts. Facts: The youngest are in their early 20s and the oldest are 68 years old. They come from all professions and all walks of life. There are also students. "We are always looking for new employees," says Graff. The new training course for volunteer counsellors starts on 13 March. In around 120 hours, practical skills in communication, counselling techniques and topics relevant to young people will be taught.

Before volunteer counsellors can start working for you, there is a 120-hour training course. That sounds like a lot. When and what happens there?
Kerstin: The training takes place at the weekend: Mostly on Saturdays. But there are also three blocks that include half a Sunday. The training is exciting, practice-orientated and very entertaining. We start with a theoretical foundation and try to find out our own role and our own limits. It is very important to have an understanding of yourself. We then work our way from empathic listening to communication models to practice and train the dialogue situations. Everything that can happen. We also visit experts such as Pro Familia and the Addiction Prevention Centre.

What qualities should a volunteer helper have?
Angela: Listening is very important. Listen to what is not said. It's not my personal opinion that counts, I'm there for the child. I really have to try to get the child on the path to helping themselves. Encourage him, talk him down, strengthen the child.
Kerstin: A counsellor must have two qualities: The ability to empathise and authenticity. If I am empathetic, I can listen and grasp the story behind the story. And I have to be authentic, otherwise the caller won't feel accepted and, in the worst case, will feel cheated in some way. I have to be honest. Both to the victim and to the offender when they call.

What target group would you like to address as a counsellor?
Kerstin: People who are looking for a meaningful activity, want to get involved, enjoy working with children and young people or want to gain experience for their professional life. The counsellors we are primarily looking for should be at least 18 years old. Before the training programme starts, we conduct an introductory interview so that both sides can get to know each other. However, you have to be aware that a strong desire to help is rather unfavourable for our work. These people can't cope with the work here. But we can't just go and pick someone up from somewhere. That's a problem for many people. Our help is to listen.

What motivated you to join the children's and young people's helpline?
Angela: On the one hand, the training really appealed to me, on the other hand, I'm doing very well personally and I just wanted to give something good back. It was also important to me that I could organise my own time. Everyone can enter their own times in the shared calendar. The work assignments are flexible.

How many shifts does a counsellor have?
Kerstin: Around three shifts of two hours each per month. Then there is also a supervision session for the counsellors, where problems are discussed. The telephone number is manned daily during the week from 2pm to 8pm. On Saturdays, the children's and young people's helpline operates under the motto: Youth advises youth. Young people from the age of 16 advise people of the same age. Unfortunately, we don't have any young people doing this here in Chemnitz at the moment. But I would like to train them in the long term.

Has this job changed your life?
Angela: Yes. My view of today's young people has changed. And it's not my opinion that counts, it's the child's well-being that takes centre stage. The most important thing is that the child is doing well. I've also become more generous. My grandchildren benefit from that (laughs).
Kerstin: It changes everyone who works and advises here. You get a completely different perspective on things.

At the beginning of the year, the AWO Federal Association awarded second place in the Lotte Lemke Commitment Prize to the Children and Youth Helpline of the AWO Chemnitz and Surroundings District Association. "We are very proud of this," says Kerstin Graff. "We've been around since 1990, making us the first children's and youth helpline in the new federal states."

Why was the children's and young people's helpline set up?
Kerstin: That was before my time. I only joined in 2013. But I assume for the same reasons that it still exists today. Because it is necessary for children and young people to have a neutral, respectful contact person. Very often, children and young people don't have that.

If you are interested in volunteering for the children and young people's helpline, please contact Kerstin Graff on 0371/6956152 or kjt(at)awo-chemnitz.de. Further information can also be found at www.nummergegenkummer.de